Caveat Venditor (Reader's Digest, 2006, 200 words)

Who would have thought that putting on a garage sale could be so complicated? That quintessential Canadian pastime happening most weekend mornings from snow-melt to the first autumn frost, is not merely a simple activity of placing “stuff” on a table in the backyard, posting a sign on a nearby lamppost, and spending the day haggling with neighbours and quasi-professional garage-salers in hopes that your junk is indeed another’s treasure.

Yes, if you display it, they will come. But did you know that the items you sell must meet current safety standards? That includes radiation-emitting appliances such as microwave ovens and personal tanning equipment. Children’s sleepwear, if cotton, should be in a tight-fitting style to minimize flammability, kite strings cannot be made of a material that conducts electricity (for obvious reasons), and rosary and other prayer beads should not be made of the poisonous jequirity beans (also fairly straightforward).

Other items are strictly verboten regardless of their condition. Lawn darts cannot be sold at all, even if the buyer intends to play them while wearing a CSA-approved helmet—complete with sticker—and full body armour. Baby gates that have triangular-shaped openings are also taboo, even if their sole purpose is to aid in training a new puppy.

Nothing left to sell? There’s always the kitchen sink!

© 2006 Barbara K. Adamski all rights reserved
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